Dangerous Love Read online

  “I can’t be with you, Derk. I can’t go through whatever it is you’ll do to me. I don’t know that I can survive your kind of heartbreak.” She sighed and laid her head onto his chest, wishing they were in a different place and time and circumstance. Wishing he was a man she could trust. Wishing she was a woman who didn’t need to guard herself this fiercely. But she did. She’d been burned too much in life to allow herself to fall back into the same pattern.

  Derk wrapped her up into his arms, his warmth and natural scent engulfing her, lulling her to relax. She could allow herself to get caught up in Derk. Any woman would. He was strong, sexy, cocky, funny, and dangerous. But he’d eventually break her. It was a given.

  He ran a soothing hand up and down her back and sighed. “This isn’t the way I want this, Mac. I don’t want to let you go.”

  She shook her head against this chest. “There’s no way I could‒”

  “What!” Courtney’s high pitched scream echoed outside.

  In the blink of an eye, Derk abandoned Mackenzie and rushed into the house. She ran quickly after him.

  In the kitchen, Ryan had his arm around Lynn, and the baby had been transferred to her loving arms.

  “You did what!” Courtney yelled. Mackenzie saw the woman’s body shake and tears fall from her eyes. “How could you?”

  “Court,” Ryan said gently. “It wasn’t planned. We decided to get married and skip all the other crap that comes with it. We don’t have time for wedding drama. Lynn’s too busy with the daycare. I’m working double shifts at the hospital.”

  “But I could have been there,” Courtney said, her voice shaking.

  Ryan’s face fell.

  Derrick, along with a group of other men, burst into the house. He went straight to his wife, his eyes black as night, assessing the situation.

  “Sean was there, Court,” Ryan said gently. “He was my best man.”

  Mackenzie didn’t understand what was happening, but she felt like she shouldn’t have a front row seat to whatever family dynamic was occurring.

  Courtney outright sobbed. “Wasn’t it bad enough I didn’t get to go to Sean’s wedding? That he hasn’t spoken to me since the day the twins were born, except when Dad…” She hiccupped. “I thought…I thought…I…”

  She looked up to Derrick, who took her face into her hands and kissed her hard on the lips. “I know,” he whispered.

  Mackenzie was shocked. Whatever Courtney couldn’t express, Derrick understood without her having to say a word. How did he do that? She didn’t know that type of connection was possible for a couple.

  “Mac, let me take you home,” Derk said, stepping in front of her. “Party’s over.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll tell Court you said goodbye,” Derk said. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her out of the Murphy home.

  Mackenzie didn’t want to leave, she wanted to stick around and make sure Courtney was all right. Whatever happened in that kitchen, it was something upsetting to the woman who’d welcomed Mackenzie into her home and made her feel like part of a family, for once in her life−however brief that’d been.

  26

  Derk escorted Mackenzie up to her apartment. They’d been silent the entire car ride home. He knew the Murphy family had gotten under her skin. He’d seen it in her eyes and the way she interacted with the women. But she’d made it clear that wasn’t something that could sway her. He didn’t understand why, but disappointment poured off him in waves. He despised the feeling.

  When Mac unlocked the door and stepped inside, she turned to him and gave him a solemn smile. “I had a good time tonight. Thank you.”

  He nodded, grabbed her around the waist, and yanked her into his body. Quickly he descended for a fiery kiss. One that would leave her breathless and give him a final taste. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she willingly let him take what he wanted. He pushed her against the near wall and ground himself against her. His tongue reached to the far depths of her mouth, beseeching her to change her mind. Entangling his fingers into her thick, auburn hair, he held her tight, fully aware she wouldn’t relent. His Mackenzie was stubborn and didn’t know what was good for her. She was afraid of him and what emotional harm he’d cause her. Reasonably he couldn’t blame her.

  Reluctantly he pulled away, gasping for air to fill his lungs. He rested his head on the top of hers and closed his eyes. A piece of him felt like he was losing something of importance. Like he was letting go of something that would have forever changed his world. But he couldn’t dwell on it. He needed to let her go despite voicing otherwise. He couldn’t fight for someone who wanted nothing to do with him. He refused to fall into his father’s footsteps by begging, pleading, chasing and showing weakness for a woman who didn’t want him. Their relationship would have been better than his parents. They’d have been good together. He’d have made certain of it. Not only that, Mackenzie wasn’t an attention seeker nor would she have played him. That he was confident in. But she was the one who needed to come to grips that they’d make an excellent couple. He couldn’t spend energy fighting a brick wall. For the first time in his life, it killed him to walk away from a woman. A woman he’d give up everything for. A woman he’d sacrifice everything for. Never in his life had he thought he’d be in such a place, but Mac had broken through his black, dead heart and brought it to life.

  “Good-bye, Mac,” he whispered. “If you ever need anything, you call me.” Because he’d never refuse her.

  Without looking at her one last time, he turned and walked out of the apartment, leaving Mackenzie alone like she asked. It was the least he could do for her. She deserved that amount of respect.

  ***

  Seated on the large, leather sofa in Mr. Murphy’s office, Derk hadn’t recovered from his breakup with Mackenzie three days ago. Though, when a couple wasn’t officially together, could the torturous event be classified as a split?

  He was vaguely aware of the business discussions bouncing back and forth in the room. Murphy continued to be livid with him and Smith, but the man had bigger fish to fry at the moment. Namely, in-laws that were stressing out his wife.

  “We think we have a lead on your man,” Jack said, interrupting Derk’s misery. Man, he hated himself.

  “Yeah?” He pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

  “Don’t even think about lighting up in my office,” Murphy snarled. “Get your ass outside. Courtney bitches every damn time you smoke in the house, here, in the car, wherever. If I’m going to argue with my wife, it’s going to be over something far more important than your disgusting habit.”

  He sighed and shoved the pack back into his jeans.

  A knock on the door interrupted them. All heads swiveled to find Sean and Ryan Millen standing in the entryway.

  “Bridget!” Murphy bellowed.

  His incompetent secretary waltzed into the room, not a care in the world. “Yes?”

  “You’re fired. You have less than five minutes to get the hell out of my office,” he said, his tone furious.

  “For what?” she squealed. Yeah, she was probably considering the sudden loss of income. Murphy paid his secretary pretty damn well. Too well, considering she was crap-ass at her job. She needed that money for the upkeep of her boy-toy who she kept on the side from her wealthy husband.

  “For allowing any riff-raff into my office,” Murphy said dryly.

  “You can’t fire me. It’s against the law,” she objected.

  “Jack.”

  Jack approached the woman and not-so-kindly escorted her out of the office.

  “Nice,” Sean Millen drawled. “Some things don’t change.”

  “I suppose not,” Murphy said, casually leaning back in his chair. “Though, if you tell me you’re here to make amends with my wife, then maybe some things do and you could prove us both wrong.”

  Derk stood and sauntered over to the spot Jack abandoned. Of Courtney’s two cousins, Sean was the one who held the temper and backe
d it up with a good right hook. For a former Navy SEAL who’d been out of the service for a while, he wasn’t a man to be taken lightly.

  Sean and Courtney had their falling out well over a year ago, and Sean should have gotten over the spat by now. After all, Mrs. M apologized numerous times and went out of her way to try and patch the crack in her relationship with her cousin. Though as time crept on, that crack grew into a crater. And Mr. Murphy became more convinced Sean was asshole. Derk agreed. But what the hell was Ryan’s problem? He got along well with Courtney and didn’t seem to harbor any ill will after that family drama. Then the other night, he confessed to marrying the spitfire Lynn and not inviting Mrs. M. Talk about breaking a woman’s heart. As the two stood there, Sean’s cockiness oozing and Ryan’s nonchalant attitude to the world around him, Derk wanted to take a baseball bat to both their kneecaps. Murphy would probably frown upon that.

  Sean pulled an envelope of out his suit jacket and tossed it onto Murphy’s desk. “Here’s the rest of the money on the loan. Our business together is done.”

  Originally Sean came to Mr. Murphy to borrow money to open up his own cardiologist practice after he’d been fired from the VA Hospital in Pittsburgh for punching a couple administrators. All caused by Beth being sexually harassed by employees. When he’d lost his job, he went to Courtney to ask for loan money to open up the business. At first, Murphy insisted it be a gift, but after the family incident between the two cousins, Murphy went mob boss and turned it into a loan. Anyone could have called that move. But Sean hadn’t had a choice, and he’d been beholden to Mr. M since. This payback left him free and clear, but also gave no reason for Sean to come around and possibly mend his relationship with his cousin.

  Ryan pulled an envelope out of his jeans pocket and tossed it on the desk. “This is the money you paid Lynn for the first few months when she’d been hired as Brady’s nanny.”

  Now that was a surprise. What was Ryan’s game? Murphy never asked for that money to be returned.

  Murphy didn’t move. “Well, I see the cardiology and daycare businesses are booming. Kudos.”

  Squeals and clambers of small children filled the office. Suddenly Caitlin and Daniel Murphy burst into the office and ran straight to their father, babbling excitedly about going to see a movie.

  “Sean? Ryan?”

  Fuck. Courtney stood in the doorway, her eyes round. She took a hesitant step inside the office. Murphy stood from behind his desk but was blocked by his children, preventing him access to his wife.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice shaky. “Is everything all right?”

  “Everything’s fine,” Ryan said.

  Sean stared at his cousin, his eyes narrowed.

  Courtney nodded. “Good.” She focused on Sean. “How are the twins? And Beth? I haven’t seen them since they were born. I bet they’ve grown.”

  The pain in her tone couldn’t be missed by anyone in the room.

  “They’re well,” Sean answered curtly.

  “That’s good.”

  “Court, I didn’t know you were stopping by today,” Murphy said, picking up his son in order to get to his wife.

  “I called and told Bridget I was stopping by.”

  “Another good reason I fired her,” Murphy muttered, irritated.

  “You fired her?”

  “She’s incompetent.”

  “That may be true, but what are you going to do about a secretary?”

  “Don’t you worry about that,” Derrick said as he approached his wife and kissed her.

  Courtney looked back to her cousin. “It’s good seeing you.”

  Sean didn’t respond.

  She turned to Ryan. “How’s Brady?”

  Ryan grinned. “Perfect.”

  Courtney’s features lit up. “He is. And Lynn?”

  “Perfect.” Ryan shrugged. “At least that’s what she tells me.”

  Courtney giggled.

  “You have your money, I expect not to hear from you again,” Sean said and turned to leave the office.

  “Sean,” Derrick said, handing his son off to his wife.

  Sean glanced over his shoulder.

  “Tell me. Why shouldn’t I charge you interest on this loan? After all, if you’d gone to a bank the interest rate is what, six, seven percent.” Murphy stuck his hands into his suit pockets.

  “Derrick,” Courtney softly rebuked.

  Her husband shot her a warning look over his shoulder.

  Sean spun and took two direct steps to Murphy. Derk and Jack, who’d just re-entered the room, were immediately between them. Ryan jumped into the mix to defend his brother. Smith and Carl, who’d remained oddly silent during this time moved into positions next to their boss.

  “Don’t you dare do this in front of my children!” Courtney screamed. “Don’t you dare! I’ll walk out of this office, and all of you will never hear from me again if you lay one hand on each other in front of my babies.”

  “Courtney, it’s time for you to leave,” Derrick said, his focus never leaving her cousin.

  “You’re right. It’s time for me to leave,” she agreed too easily.

  Murphy picked up on that, his gaze swinging to his wife who was grabbing her daughter’s hand.

  “Stop,” he yelled, but she ignored him. "Sean and Ryan, get the hell out of my office now.”

  Both men brushed past their cousin, Ryan laying a hand on her shoulder, kissing her cheek with a small farewell.

  “Courtney Murphy,” Derrick warned, his tone hard and unrelenting. “If you walk out that door and force me to chase you, you won’t be happy with the outcome.”

  Yeah, Mrs. M was a runner, which put her life in danger if she was on her own. How many times he’d had to search for her? Countless. It was exhausting. The wife of a notorious mob boss was too good of a target for Mr. M’s enemies, and there were plenty.

  Courtney spun on her husband. “My relationship with my cousins can’t afford your anger toward them. I understand it, Derrick. I do. You’re my husband. You have my back no matter what. I could murder a room full of nuns, and you’d defend me until your last breath. But you can’t add gasoline onto the already out-of-control flames. I don’t know that Sean will ever forgive me. I see Ryan pulling away, probably because he feels he’s protecting Lynn and Brady from our world. But there’s nothing more we can do. I can’t force Sean to forgive me for my stupid actions and mouth. I can’t force Ryan to visit and spend time with us. Does it kill me? Yes. Does my heart break every single day? Yes. I want so badly to be a part of the twins’ and Beth’s lives. But that’s up to them now. At least that’s what I tell myself every morning when I wake and that damn gaping hole is there.”

  She cracked and tears fell down her cheeks. Murphy inhaled sharply and pulled his wife into his arms and embraced her fiercely.

  Derk had to look away from the utter single-minded devotion the couple had for one another. He couldn’t handle the scene. To watch them in love with each other mocked him. To witness their unconditional support for one another snapped his hard exterior. For the first time in his life, he wanted what the Murphy's had. That soul-providing relationship. With Mackenzie. There wasn’t another woman who’d touched that part of him before. There wasn’t another woman who he would consider moving into his home. There wasn’t another woman that he’d actually laughed with, spent meaningful time with, took care of when they’d been ill or injured. He could see himself defending her just as Murphy defended his wife. He suddenly got it. He understood how a man could put everything on a backburner for the woman he loved. To want to protect her from every harmful thing that might destroy her, even her own family. To love a woman so indelibly that he’d kill with his bare hands for her. For years he never understood Murphy’s obsession with his wife. Now he did. At that very second, it hit him upside the head like someone had taken a tire iron to him. Mackenzie wrecked him. And he’d never be the same.

  27

  Mackenzie needed
to make a hundred dollars to pay the cable bill. The money she’d managed to save was used to pay off her attorney at the beginning of the week. Not that she’d had much in the account to begin with. She split all the bills with Kayla, which hadn’t given her much opportunity to start a significant savings. Her best friend didn’t want to collect a dime from her, but Mackenzie insisted. She wasn’t going to freeload off Kayla just because the girl came from a wealthy family who provided for her.

  But there wasn’t much of a crowd for a Monday night, and she hadn’t worked the weekend because she’d been sick with the flu. Though Kayla contended it wasn’t an illness, but claimed it was broken-heart syndrome. She didn’t agree with that conclusion. Didn’t one have to actually be in love in order to suffer from break-up symptoms?

  “Mackenzie,” Grant whispered into her ear, causing her to jump. She hated when he did that.

  “Grant,” she scolded. “Stop that.”

  He smirked devilishly. “I’m cutting you. It’s slow tonight.”

  “I need to stay, Grant. I need to make a hundred dollars by the end of the night,” she pleaded. She’d only worked two hours and had twenty bucks to show for it.